Texas Two-Step: Starbucks Sued, Shyster Screwed

Despite all the tort reform progress that has been made in the Lone Star state during the past decade, parasitic personal injury lawyers and their personal responsibility-shirking clients persist in their conniving and scheming efforts to get rich at someone else’s expense.

Consider the case of Christina Sturgess, a San Antonio woman now suing Starbucks for allegedly not properly affixing the plastic lid on the cup of hot tea she says she purchased by way of a drive-thru window.

According to WOAI-AM News Radio 1200, Sturgess’s lawsuit, filed in Seattle, claims she suffered second-degree burns and seeks damages not only for “medical bills and pain and suffering . . . , but also for ‘loss of enjoyment of life.'”

Her lawsuit alleges that, as Sturgess pulled away and moved to take her first sip, the lid came off and “scalding hot tea poured over her.”

Ms. Sturgess and her shameless lawyer should know that the tea in Hell is served even hotter, and anyone there who even thinks about blaming someone else for their own stupidity or clumsiness is unspeakably tortured.

Speaking of shameless shysters, how about the case of Tom Corea, a Dallas-area plaintiffs’ lawyer once known widely for his twice-weekly “Ask a Lawyer” TV infomercials?

Corea ultimately sued the two television stations that aired his self-promoting program for $1.4 million, alleging they had not forwarded potential client calls to his office as agreed.  But that little disagreement would now seem to be the least of his worries.

Last month, Corea was indicted in Dallas County on four felony charges for stealing some $400,000 from clients.  As reported by the Dallas Observer, the indictment alleges that “the man who boasts of his ‘zealous advocacy and personal connection with his clients,’ was, in fact, quietly screwing them over. One of the charges alleges that he schemed to steal more than $200,000 from a half dozen individuals. In another case, he repeatedly lied to business clients to have them transfer [to him] more than $200,000.

“To top it all off, Corea allegedly stole the identity of another Dallas attorney and used it on: an American Express Gold Card application; an American Express Plum Car application; an American Express Platinum Card application; tax documents; and a couple of settlement agreements.”

Perhaps Mr. Corea will someday have the chance to join Ms. Sturgess and her mouthpiece for a nice, hot cup of tea when they’ve all arrived at their final destination.