Ungratefully Litigious Has-Been Howard Stern Loses Lawsuit against Sirius XM Radio

The joke was on low-brow bigmouth Howard Stern Monday when a New York judge dismissed his outrageously ungrateful lawsuit against Sirius XM Radio.

According to the New York Times’ Media Decoder blog, Stern and his agent claimed in the suit filed last year that they were still owed hundreds of millions of dollars worth of stock payments per their previous contract with the satellite radio company.  Never mind that their calculations apparently counted subscribers added when Sirius merged with XM Radio as new subscribers that should trigger certain stock payments.  And never mind that Sirius was then paying Stern about $100 million a year, and is now, after a subsequent contract renewal, reportedly paying the foul-mouthed shock jock about $80 million a year.   

“In a ruling on Monday, Justice Barbara R. Kapnick granted Sirius’s motion for summary judgment, dismissing the suit with prejudice,” reports the Times blog.  “She said that the language of Mr. Stern’s contract tied his stock awards to Sirius’s subscribers, not to XM’s or to the merged company’s.”

“In order to receive the Sirius radio service, one must still subscribe to the Sirius service; in order to receive the XM radio service, one must still subscribe to the XM service,” Judge Kapnick wrote in her decision. “They are not one and the same.”

The Twitter feed of Stern’s radio show reported that, “Howard is really bummed that a judge has dismissed his lawsuit against Sirius. He plans on appealing”.

Howard, you litigious has-been.  You make more money than Mitt Romney, and you and your fans make English soccer hooligans sound like David Niven.  So don’t hold out too much hope for that appeal of yours.  Like your vulgarity-dependent career from here on out, it’s going nowhere.